merry christmas to the blogosphere

ever had one of those days...

when you prepared immensely for something and was very excited about it and then....flop!? You completely missed the mark! That was last night for me teaching bible study for our adults. And the subject (OF ALL THINGS) was the book of Revelation.

Upon reflection on my performance, I think I now do believe in the rapture and that Tim LaHaye is right on target.........................


no, not really. But, I was WAY off in being clear and intelligible. Many apologies to the crowd who attended.

on jordan's stomy banks

I baptized our oldest daughter, Bailey, this past Sunday (a.k.a., Christ the King Sunday.) It was an interesting experience that was the culmination of many conversations about this one of the rites of initiation within the Christian tradition. A quick reflection…

Many from our church community called, wrote, or told me face to face how moving it was for them to experience a father baptizing his child. Oddly enough, I was not as emotional as I would have guessed. Now, my previous experiences with baptism have been very emotional. As a hospital chaplain, I was privileged to baptize persons who were close to death or who had already died. The first baptism I performed was in the Emergency Department for a baby boy born at 20 weeks and my words had to be translated into Spanish. Struggling with the issues of life, death, faith, baptism, and culture all at once overwhelmed me. The folks around me in the ED were full of anxiety since this wasn’t supposed to happen there, but in another area of the hospital. Not getting caught up in that later allow me to feel what was had happened, and feel very deeply. I must confess that as I baptized Bailey, I was caught up in the anxiety of “making sure this all goes well.” Additionally, the morning did not go well getting everyone ready for church. Even more to the point, I’ve been running ragged for over a month now trying to get moved, work effectively, and be a husband to Kim and a father to Bailey and Zoe (who has hit the “terrible twos” with a vengeance!) I’ve had some success and some failure. The lesson is to implement what I already know. That is, a balanced life is a disciplined life. Life is expectedly out of kilter because of the lack of discipline and intentionality. Sitting down to write these reflections is some evidence that I’m moving back to homeostasis.

So, this morning…I cried, sort of a different kind of baptism.

And I am awed by Bailey's faith. By way of testimony, a couple of Sundays before her baptism, she took an offering envelop and filled out her name and put $0 on the amount line. Then, she wrote the following on the back and placed it in the offering plate: "I love this church and I never want to leave!"

And my cyncism, although still very visible, is slowly fading. I must be bound for the promised land

another samuel adams please

the statesman and patriot, that is...who said,

"It does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority keen to set brush fires in people's minds."


This gives me hope that even when we're the minority (if we are?), the majority has to deal with us whether they like it or not. Therefore, I mean to start carrying a flask of gasoline and a lighter with me at all times.

It seems to me that that's what the early church did (who was a minority)...and then the reformers...and then the anabaptists...and maybe now, those of us who are emerging.

Burn baby burn!

thinking missionally

AP down with the G-O-D

This is probably the worst written and strangest article I've seen in a while.

Can you make any sense of this?

i don't know what to call this (UPDATE)

Well, the votes were cast and I won. It was a bitter race to the end, but my smear campaign against myself failed. I am now the Pastor for Congregational Care at Zebulon Baptist Church. Officially, October 1.

Last November I posted this. Its amazing what has happened since then and what I was wrong about.

Here's a list:

• We ARE moving.
• We ARE selling our house (and hopefully soon!)
• I did NOT sell my truck (although it was listed on craig's list for a while.)
• The cat quit drinking from the fish bowl once he pushed it off the desk and murdered the fish outright.
• Honestly, I was disgruntled. CPE taught me a lot about being honest with myself.
• I did enroll in counseling class, but dropped them and focused on the CPE experience.
• I have not written any books.
• I did not work at Lowes, Home Depot, or Jiffy Lube.

The big question: Was it the right thing to leave Campbell? I cannot say strongly enough...yes.

I am working through how to explain the decision to work on a church staff. I've titled that unwritten piece, "A postmodern church, or the Church in postmodernity." Surprisingly (to me and others), I have a good amount of excitement and energy about being a part of the latter.

Zebulon Baptist ordained me back in 1994 when I was on staff as Minister to Youth. Serving with them part-time this summer, I have re-discovered this community of faith to be intentional, missional, liturgical, evangelical, while being a part of whatever "mainline" Christianity is. As one example, I was encouraged to teach a seminar for the 20s/30s learning community based on Marcus Borg's "Meeting Jesus Again for the First Time."

My head is still spinning about all this and I wouldn't mind some conversation partners. For those of you uncommitted on Sunday mornings in the Raleigh area, I invite you to come on out to ZBC for worship at 10:00. I preach a few times this fall (including 9/23 and 11/18) and will be "installed" on 10/21 in a service of communion. And by all means, Christmas eve at ZBC is extraordinary (at 5:30 or 11:00!) (You can also subscribe to the Zebulon Baptist podcast to hear a few sermons too.)

Sorry about the rambling. But, suffice it to say (in the words of Maya Angelou), "I wouldn't take nothing for my journey now."

Buddha-bellied buoyancy

Here's how meaningful required worship must have been for one of my former students. The impact I made was remarkable to say the least.

After church this week I headed to visit some folks in the hospitals. I stopped to get a burger on the way. When I went to the counter for a refill on my diet coke, there was a girl standing in line to order and pointing at me. She looked and said, "I think I know you. Don't I?" I did recognize her, but before I could help her she blurted out, "You were my swim coach in high school. Weren't you?" "No," I said. "I was your campus minister when you were a student at Campbell. Remember CEP? That's where you saw me."

We reminisced about all those great Tuesdays and Thursdays and what an impact they had on her life.

Then, I went to the mall and bought me some swim goggles and a speedo.

magic and tragic: preaching buffett on the 9th sunday after pentecost

Yesterday, I preached a revised version of this sermon at our mainline evangelical church.

Any new thoughts?

Other than the comments about my closing song, the one the sticks out to me was from a parishioner who said, "I wasn't real sure where you were going, but you brought it all together in the end."

I've got the audio if anyone can tell me how to get it online.

Plus, it reminded me that I wanted to get this memoir to read.

making the sale and sealing the deal

It's official. The Newell house is up for sale. See it here. The sign went up yesterday and luckily it was shown yesterday too. We've started moving a few things "clear out some clutter" as we were told. So for now, we're just moving our unnecessary junk. Check out our new place! We're in unit 325, so come on by and see us sometime.

And by all means, if you'd like to buy a house contact our realtor here.

will the circle be postmodern, by and by lord, by and by

After a lot of thought, prayer, journal writing, etc., Kim and I have decided to put our kids up for adoption...not really. It's something else I thought I'd never do. (On the topic of "thought I'd never do," I'll have to save that to post later.)

We're hoping to go back to Zebulon, NC where I'll work on a church staff full-time. Yes. That's right. I'm going to be working on a church staff. All the details are pending the process a church needs to maintain order, but it's safe to say that it will happen in some form or fashion.

I was also interviewed and invited to be a resident chaplain at WakeMed for the next year. Somehow, I thought that given this choice I had, I would have gone with the hospital which is a great place. I have no doubt that would have been a profound experience. In the short time I was there, it was a holy and meaningful.

But, I must say, I'm surprised. Surprised at how God works to bring someone "full-circle." (Thanks for that image, John.) When I went back "just for the summer," I thought I'd find an institutional church rooted in modernism. However, what I found was a loving community of Christians who are making a way to serve God in the name of Jesus. They have succeeded and they have failed. They are dreaming and and turning dreams into deeds. They have "Sunday school" and "Learning Communities." They are traditional as well as innovative.

And now the "they" becomes "we" and it feels great to use that word. I am eager to see how the person I've developed into will find ways to follow Christ and lead others in such a context.

In other news, I am still planning (though plans for me change with the wind) to take the counseling classes I had originally planned on to get licensed in some fashion as a counselor/therapist. (That means, however, I've put Jiffy Lube and Lowes on hold at least for a while.)

Finally, Kim and I love our children dearly. Bailey is excited about this. And Zoe just needs a bigger room. But I will donate a very friendly cat to anyone who needs such a burden.

trash talkin’ about emergent folks, or tony jones ain’t worth keeping around

We live in a time in history when “talkin’ trash” is accepted and even expected. But, this was literally a ridiculous example.

Kim and I went out to eat tonight. We met after work for dinner at a national chain neighborhood grill. I got there early so I took a book that I’ll be using in a college-group study later this week. The book was The Sacred Way by our Emergent national coordinator and friend Tony Jones. I’ve read it and it’s a great resource for those seeking to learn about spiritual practices. Evidently, someone on the staff (or a group of co-conspirators) thought much differently.

After dinner, we decided to ride together to get a few things for home. We returned to her car later to go home, but I realized that I had left the book and my cell phone on the table. I went inside only to discover nothing had been turned in. When I asked the host about my stuff, he got visibly nervous. He left and came back empty-handed saying, “I asked my manager and she said that we only found a book.”

“Well, where’s the book?”

“Oh, do you want it?”

“Ummm. Yeah. And my phone too. It was on top of the book.”

“Well, I’ll have to talk to the manager.”

“Why don’t you do that?”

He came back with the book in hand. But no phone. I tucked the book away and the manager and I then checked with the folks sitting where I had been earlier. Curiously, the guests told us that the host in question had picked up a phone and a book “that looked quite interesting” (in her words) when they had been seated.

The short version of the story is that they brought me my phone from the back. The SIM card had been taken out which the “honorable” host ran out to give me a few moments later. I wonder about all that.

But, the part that’s noteworthy is what I noticed on the way home. As I selfishly pondered what was going on with my phone for a hour or so, I glanced to the dashboard and there it was. The book. Front cover face down on the dashboard and Tony Jones looking right at me…sort of. I realized they had thrown the book in the trash. A mayonnaise-soaked lettuce leaf coming from Tony’s ear and smeared across his chin was what I could only hope was the sauce leftover from someone’s Honey BBQ Baby Backs.

And I thought, this was no accident. This was intentional! They couldn’t preach against Emergent because they had no pulpit. They couldn’t leave unchristian comments on his blog because they were too busy stealing cell phones from unsuspecting customers. But, when they found The Sacred Way left on a public table like an evangelistic tract, all impulses led to defamation.

So, I am calling for a nationwide boycott of the Applebee’s in Garner, North Carolina on every Monday for the rest of the month or until an Emergent cohort gets free drinks and appetizers from Applebee's for the next 490 meetings. Who is with me?

anyone else sick of this?

Greg Laurie 07.

I finally saw a poster upclose which said the theme was something like "making God known." But, I've only seen bumper stickers bearing the name "Greg Laurie." Who is it that needs knowing? God or Greg? This seems to be another place for people who are already "christian" to get together and talk about being MORE Christian than everyone else who doesn't attend. I think I'll pass on the piety parade.

a buckhead eucharist

Last night, we ate with some friends in Atlanta. I joined my wife with two of her friends from work along with one of her friend's partner. The five of us enjoyed a great meal...a couple of snapper specials, the salmon, grits of some kind, prickly pear margaritas, a dos equis, a stella artois, and a pint of guinness. Desserts came too.

But, nothing tasted as good as the conversation.

For three co-workers, it seemed wonderful (and necessary!) to commiserate and celebrate about work. The two "significant others" sat quietly, for a little while at least, in support of this make-shift group counseling session. But then, the attention bounced in my direction. What was I up to these days? With genuine interest, affirmation and support, my new friends listened to the tale that is my journey. They also listened to our trials and triumphs of being parents of young children.

We listened to a sense of loss and grief of one whose father recently died and how she's getting away to put her toes in the sand on this "father's day" weekend.

We all then listened to the other couple's struggles at their church. And of course, I offered my take on the problems that arise when folks working for the Kingdom get bogged down trying to run it as a business. Then we all comiserated that something's just not right in the world of Christianity.

And so, a single Episcopalian, two gay Methodists, and two Baptists of some sort gathered at the table giving thanks in a communal sense. Had I known how the night would have played out, I probably should have started by saying, "On the night when Jesus was betrayed, he gathered in an upper room...he took bread...he took the cup...do this in remembrance of me."

update

For those interested in the what's up with me since leaving Campbell, here's a brief post with that info.

I finished a unit of CPE at WakeMed at the end of April. This was truly a profound experience for me, both personally and professionally. So much so, I wanted more and signed up to be the "on-call" chaplain for every Tuesday in May. This was tough, but I still want more. I'm not sure where this will take me. Stay tuned.

After finishing CPE, the Director of Spiritual Care at WakeMed offered for me to be a "contract chaplain" through August 31. If you haven't gotten it...meaningful stuff, folks.

Prayer and discernment has led me to accept an offer to serve Zebulon Baptist Church, as interim associate pastor. I help with pastoral care, worship leadership, and some other stuff ("as assigned by the pastor.") This is a good place and these are wonderful people. I know what some of you are thinking..."I can't believe TM is working for a church again!" A future post might let you in and why I would do this. In short, this is a great church, somewhere between mainline and evangelical (depending on who you're talking too) with good worship opportunities. It's a wonderful staff. And the office space isn't too shabby either.

I'm not enrolled in a counseling program (yet.) More on this in the future. Suffice it to say, I still want to pursue that, but I'm working through some logistical things before taking that leap.

All this means, I commute. And the gas prices aren't great for that. Nonetheless, I am gainfully employed for the time being.

On a spiritual note, I must say (to both of you reading this!), that taking this drastic journey in my life was right. I can't tell you the affirmation I have received since the day I resigned. God is good and my wife is much too gracious for a wretch like me.

gotta walk that road

So, I have finished the unit of Clinical Pastoral Education and I can say a great deal about this holiest of experiences for me. My CPE sojourners are wonderful people and to say that my supervisor is a phenomenal person and spiritual guide is an understatement. Part of the final evaluation is the exchange of images that this experience has been for us. We offered one for ourselves and one was given to us by our supervisor. I may share later what I offered, but here I wanted to share what I was given. She offered me the lines to a song she'd never actually heard musically, but she knew the words. I think she also knew (and still knows) the path of my soul. It's a song by David M. Bailey. He has a tremendous story and is a great songwriter and musician and is now one of my favorites. For anyone who has ever searched for the right path or who, like me, is still searching, you should consider Holy Roads.

simply holy, wholly simple

I was on-call at the hospital this week, Sunday to be specific. A standing responsibility as chaplain on a Sunday is to lead a chapel service in two locations of the hospital. In one setting, six patients and I came together to meet God. No one arrived without help from a nursing aide and I greeted each one as they were brought in.

One had a hip replacement. Another had heart problems. Others had a stroke, an accident, or some situation they didn’t offer this congregation of saints and sinners. From the first few moments, I wanted to take off my shoes. The holiness of this gathering was almost as visible as the tears that it caused.

I shared a reading from Psalm 139 suggesting that there’s no place we can go to escape the presence and power of God. Before I could ask, others starting sharing their stories, most of which were told through tears. When I was trying to bring things to a close, I asked if anyone had a song they’d like to offer making some joke about not wanting to sing myself. As most everyone laughed, one patient quietly said, “I’ve got something to offer.” And he began to sing. As large tears marked his rough face, his offering marked my soul.

What God has for me, it is for me.
What God has for me, it is for me.
I know without a doubt, that he will bring me out.
What God has for me, it is for me.
(“It is for Me,” Miami Mass Choir)

I prayed our closing prayer calling each person by name. What struck me was that for about 45 minutes that Sunday morning, I was with the church. We normally say “at” church. But, that doesn’t seem to fit much anymore. Church isn’t a place. Nope. For me, church is a communal reality, a way of living, and a way of being human.

Simple stories.
A simple song.
A simple gathering of flesh and blood, hands and feet, hearts and minds.
Simply beautiful.
Simply meaningful.

Simply holy.
Wholly simple.

spring forward, never go back

I've got lots on my mind these days, especially about the church and her future.

I took a picture this afternoon of the first bloom on the dwarf georgia peach tree in our front yard. I am hopeful that spring is soon coming bringing new things. I am reminded that winter brought some things to an end.

In many ways, this peach tree had to die in order to bring something new. And, I am wondering about the church even still...

a fountain flowing deep and wide

I was invited to lead an “Evocative Presentation” for the North Carolina Regional Meeting of the Shiloh Network which I did earlier this week. I thought the task was to talk about how to talk to young people about call and vocation. When I arrived I was reminded that the title of the session was “Recovering the Lost Language of Call.” What I had planned was close enough so that I could make a few extra notes and move forward without too much of a hiccup. Here’s the first point of what I was tried to do in less than 15 minutes. Yeah, I had also planned too much and had to cut how evocative I could be since I was sharing the workshop with another, and evoker. (Maybe I’ll add the rest in a future post to see how provocative an evocative I came up with.)

Point #1 – I read the gospel reading from the Daily Office for the day prior to this event. I had heard this in a podcast and it struck me that this is what should be done when we’re trying to lead others in any way. I read the follow-up verses to the story in John 4 after Jesus had encountered the Samaritan woman. What struck me was what the folks from her village said once they personally encountered Jesus.

They said to the woman, "We no longer believe just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this man really is the Savior of the world." (John 4:42, TNIV)

This is a key principle of leadership in most, if not all, contexts (i.e., to help others become able to say, “We no longer believe just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves.”)

Leading others to Christ has been anything but this for too many years. We’ve tried to make a uniform faith, an orthodox doctrine, or a systematic theology (Uh oh, what did I just attack there??). We’ve attempted to explain the Christian faith in cookie cutter fashion leaving no room for a “see for yourself” gospel reality.

The Samaritan woman teaches a great lesson. Tell others the story, but give them room enough to discover Christ in their own ways. Might this produce richer and more meaningful expressions of faith that aren’t so homogeneous or orthodox?

The richness of a faithful community might best be described by the depth of its diversity rather than the breadth of its conformity.

public and private prayer...you are now free to move around the country...and piss everyone off

I now have Nextel for my wireless phone service. It works fine for the most part. But, I’m not sure about this two-way radio connection. I can talk to my wife and a couple of neighbors, but I just don’t use it much of the time because I get annoyed when others use it publicly with the volume blasting. For most folks in a restaurant (McDonald’s for me this morning) who are having a conversation face-to-face, respectfully they keep their voices low. But, for one woman that was impossible. That piercing beep/chirp unique to Nextel was constantly alerting the entire restaurant that one side of the conversation was over. Her volume was entirely too loud letting all of us in on the conversation about where she was to meet her friend/mother/sister and what time. Also, the restating of every other sentence was equally annoying. To make matters worse as Annoying Person #1 continues her conversation in walks another Nextel user beeping his way to the counter saying something about his many morning tasks that he had to finish before responding to his partner’s radio request. (BTW, this included consuming two McGriddles, a cup of coffee, and some kind of lengthy morning ritual in the men’s room.) By the end of writing this paragraph, three other Nextelians invaded the place chirping their way all of my nerves. Maybe our phones are different, but there is a way to keep these kinds of conversations private (or at least half of it.) We also have volume switches to keep in down in public.

I am reminded of what Jesus said about keeping things to yourself, especially spirituality.

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. (Matthew 6.5-8, TNIV)

I am afraid we live in a culture that values the public display of piety much more than persons whose inner lives are rich and deep in the ways of God. I am afraid even further that the hypocrites and Pharisees may be winning the public debate on church. It is possible that the majority of evangelicals in America would much rather have a Nextel than a prayer closet. (And I don't think aforementioned "morning ritual" included any sort of prayer."

hiatus over

In an effort get back into the blogosphere, let me offer something of recent experience.

Last Monday night I spoke at the Raleigh area BSU about what Baptist's believe about the Bible. I'm not sure I did what all, or even any, Baptists would be comfortable with, but I really don't care much to do that anyway. What I tried to do was get students to see the Bible and its interpretation in poetic fashion. That is, we should read the Bible with unrestrained freedom as poets. No rules. No boundaries. But, instead community. Loving, intentional communities that are willing to wrestling with these "ancient words." (A really cool song they introduced to me as their closing.) By way of making the experience interactive, I asked a few students to write a few statements that I, on the spot, put into a poem about the Bible. Here's their communal/poetic offering...

When we
read the Bible,
we remember
parents reading the Christmas story.
When we
read the Bible,
its bring hope
from the promises Jesus
made about preparing a place
for us.
The Bible brings us
comfort
and always seems to be encouraging
in our times
of need.
But, we are afraid.
We are afraid
we've missed something major
and got it all wrong.
Yet, we are thankful.
We are thankful that it is
still available
and offers
truth and love.
But, when we
read the Bible,
we struggle
reconciling the judgmental God
with a God who cares and loves.