trash talkin’ about emergent folks, or tony jones ain’t worth keeping around

We live in a time in history when “talkin’ trash” is accepted and even expected. But, this was literally a ridiculous example.

Kim and I went out to eat tonight. We met after work for dinner at a national chain neighborhood grill. I got there early so I took a book that I’ll be using in a college-group study later this week. The book was The Sacred Way by our Emergent national coordinator and friend Tony Jones. I’ve read it and it’s a great resource for those seeking to learn about spiritual practices. Evidently, someone on the staff (or a group of co-conspirators) thought much differently.

After dinner, we decided to ride together to get a few things for home. We returned to her car later to go home, but I realized that I had left the book and my cell phone on the table. I went inside only to discover nothing had been turned in. When I asked the host about my stuff, he got visibly nervous. He left and came back empty-handed saying, “I asked my manager and she said that we only found a book.”

“Well, where’s the book?”

“Oh, do you want it?”

“Ummm. Yeah. And my phone too. It was on top of the book.”

“Well, I’ll have to talk to the manager.”

“Why don’t you do that?”

He came back with the book in hand. But no phone. I tucked the book away and the manager and I then checked with the folks sitting where I had been earlier. Curiously, the guests told us that the host in question had picked up a phone and a book “that looked quite interesting” (in her words) when they had been seated.

The short version of the story is that they brought me my phone from the back. The SIM card had been taken out which the “honorable” host ran out to give me a few moments later. I wonder about all that.

But, the part that’s noteworthy is what I noticed on the way home. As I selfishly pondered what was going on with my phone for a hour or so, I glanced to the dashboard and there it was. The book. Front cover face down on the dashboard and Tony Jones looking right at me…sort of. I realized they had thrown the book in the trash. A mayonnaise-soaked lettuce leaf coming from Tony’s ear and smeared across his chin was what I could only hope was the sauce leftover from someone’s Honey BBQ Baby Backs.

And I thought, this was no accident. This was intentional! They couldn’t preach against Emergent because they had no pulpit. They couldn’t leave unchristian comments on his blog because they were too busy stealing cell phones from unsuspecting customers. But, when they found The Sacred Way left on a public table like an evangelistic tract, all impulses led to defamation.

So, I am calling for a nationwide boycott of the Applebee’s in Garner, North Carolina on every Monday for the rest of the month or until an Emergent cohort gets free drinks and appetizers from Applebee's for the next 490 meetings. Who is with me?