I'm back...sort of

I'm back at writing and might even publish a piece or two.

moving this blog

Update your feed readers, bookmarks, favorites, or "pages that I want to block"...I'm moving the blog over here...

www.terrymichaelnewell.com

on changing sides

It's official. I've changed sides. I know many folks will be shocked to hear this, but I can't help the way I feel. Sometimes you've just got to go with your gut.

I stopped at one of my (new) remote offices and when it happened I couldn't believe it. I compromised a lot of what I usd to think was good and pure. I may be changed forever.

I now put cream and sweetener in my coffee and it's wonderful. Once a purist of strong, black coffee, I now enjoy the lighter side.

If I've disappointed any you, I'm sorry.

Why Emergent? (the short version)

Some circles criticize those of us who prefer an “emergent” path of the Christian faith. I’m not sure why that is. Are we that easy of a target? Are we really that misguided in our efforts and hopes for the practice of the Christian faith during our time in history? I don’t believe so. Let me say this, I believe God has called me to be emergent because of one word that is used consistently and compellingly. That is, conversation. That’s what attracted me to emergent in the beginning. I decided to attend the Emergent convention in Nashville as few years ago. Furthermore, I decided to go with an open mind, not to be the normal cynic I can be too often. I went to listen, but in the end, found myself in the conversation. I challenged some things and affirmed others. I learned a lot there and the learning continues. I think of it as God’s “call” because of something I read this morning.

"[God’s] appeals come through the conversations of good people, or from sermons,
or through the reading of good books; and there are many other ways, of which
you have heard, in which God calls us." (Interior Castle, Teresa of Avila)

That says a lot.

Criticize all you want. But, the conversations/sermons/books I’ve experienced in the past few years might as well have been a burning bush.

awesome experience

Bailey and I went to see this last week. And now I'm trying to figure out a way to go back.

kim and i just finished watching

this...

this morning i read

the poem "A Color of the Sky" by Tony Hoagland which contains these lines:

What I thought was an end turned out to be a middle.
What I thought was a brick wall turned out to be a tunnel.
What I thought was an injustice
turned out to be a color of the sky.

quite profound in my opinion.

down the etymological tree from paradox to oxymoron

I was reminded of something this morning. Much of Christian thought and practice involves paradox. And it leads me to some questions that I've probably had before, but didn't spend enough time thinking about to be able to offer myself some credible answer. (I know, questions without answers is paradox too.) Nonetheless, it is still helpful to query.

How do we communicate paradox to a post-Christian world? Is there paradox in other ways of thinking beyond philosophy and theology? More importantly, does paradox exist in other ways of living? (I have some motives for such questions, but I'll hold them for now.)

I see quite a bit of "tension" in many people's lives (and in their ways of thinking) which, most of the time, is understood and explained as "conflict." And, the hope is that conflict can be resolved.

For me, paradox is attractive and helpful. It allows me to let go of some of the conflict and leave it as unresolvable. But, quite honestly, then I feel an internal struggle at other times to make sure all the pieces fit together nice and neatly.

Len Sweet's article in the latest edition of Next-Wave stirred this up in me this morning where he states, among other things, "In Christ all opposites are not so much reconciled as transcended in the Oneness of Twoness. We are born for ontological tension: in-but-not-of the world." I like what he suggests, but find it difficult to translate it into usable language for a pastor concerned with outreach. Lest, we just reach out to those for whom paradox means compromise.

All You Need is Love, Da da da da da

I woke up late on New Year's Day. Our bedroom door was shut (I guess that was a late gift from my wife.) With all the intentionality a 2 year old can conjure up, Zoe enters the room and walks to the side of the bed. She places her hand on my chest and says, "I love you Daddy."

A great way to start the new year.

merry christmas to the blogosphere

ever had one of those days...

when you prepared immensely for something and was very excited about it and then....flop!? You completely missed the mark! That was last night for me teaching bible study for our adults. And the subject (OF ALL THINGS) was the book of Revelation.

Upon reflection on my performance, I think I now do believe in the rapture and that Tim LaHaye is right on target.........................


no, not really. But, I was WAY off in being clear and intelligible. Many apologies to the crowd who attended.

on jordan's stomy banks

I baptized our oldest daughter, Bailey, this past Sunday (a.k.a., Christ the King Sunday.) It was an interesting experience that was the culmination of many conversations about this one of the rites of initiation within the Christian tradition. A quick reflection…

Many from our church community called, wrote, or told me face to face how moving it was for them to experience a father baptizing his child. Oddly enough, I was not as emotional as I would have guessed. Now, my previous experiences with baptism have been very emotional. As a hospital chaplain, I was privileged to baptize persons who were close to death or who had already died. The first baptism I performed was in the Emergency Department for a baby boy born at 20 weeks and my words had to be translated into Spanish. Struggling with the issues of life, death, faith, baptism, and culture all at once overwhelmed me. The folks around me in the ED were full of anxiety since this wasn’t supposed to happen there, but in another area of the hospital. Not getting caught up in that later allow me to feel what was had happened, and feel very deeply. I must confess that as I baptized Bailey, I was caught up in the anxiety of “making sure this all goes well.” Additionally, the morning did not go well getting everyone ready for church. Even more to the point, I’ve been running ragged for over a month now trying to get moved, work effectively, and be a husband to Kim and a father to Bailey and Zoe (who has hit the “terrible twos” with a vengeance!) I’ve had some success and some failure. The lesson is to implement what I already know. That is, a balanced life is a disciplined life. Life is expectedly out of kilter because of the lack of discipline and intentionality. Sitting down to write these reflections is some evidence that I’m moving back to homeostasis.

So, this morning…I cried, sort of a different kind of baptism.

And I am awed by Bailey's faith. By way of testimony, a couple of Sundays before her baptism, she took an offering envelop and filled out her name and put $0 on the amount line. Then, she wrote the following on the back and placed it in the offering plate: "I love this church and I never want to leave!"

And my cyncism, although still very visible, is slowly fading. I must be bound for the promised land

another samuel adams please

the statesman and patriot, that is...who said,

"It does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority keen to set brush fires in people's minds."


This gives me hope that even when we're the minority (if we are?), the majority has to deal with us whether they like it or not. Therefore, I mean to start carrying a flask of gasoline and a lighter with me at all times.

It seems to me that that's what the early church did (who was a minority)...and then the reformers...and then the anabaptists...and maybe now, those of us who are emerging.

Burn baby burn!

thinking missionally

AP down with the G-O-D

This is probably the worst written and strangest article I've seen in a while.

Can you make any sense of this?

i don't know what to call this (UPDATE)

Well, the votes were cast and I won. It was a bitter race to the end, but my smear campaign against myself failed. I am now the Pastor for Congregational Care at Zebulon Baptist Church. Officially, October 1.

Last November I posted this. Its amazing what has happened since then and what I was wrong about.

Here's a list:

• We ARE moving.
• We ARE selling our house (and hopefully soon!)
• I did NOT sell my truck (although it was listed on craig's list for a while.)
• The cat quit drinking from the fish bowl once he pushed it off the desk and murdered the fish outright.
• Honestly, I was disgruntled. CPE taught me a lot about being honest with myself.
• I did enroll in counseling class, but dropped them and focused on the CPE experience.
• I have not written any books.
• I did not work at Lowes, Home Depot, or Jiffy Lube.

The big question: Was it the right thing to leave Campbell? I cannot say strongly enough...yes.

I am working through how to explain the decision to work on a church staff. I've titled that unwritten piece, "A postmodern church, or the Church in postmodernity." Surprisingly (to me and others), I have a good amount of excitement and energy about being a part of the latter.

Zebulon Baptist ordained me back in 1994 when I was on staff as Minister to Youth. Serving with them part-time this summer, I have re-discovered this community of faith to be intentional, missional, liturgical, evangelical, while being a part of whatever "mainline" Christianity is. As one example, I was encouraged to teach a seminar for the 20s/30s learning community based on Marcus Borg's "Meeting Jesus Again for the First Time."

My head is still spinning about all this and I wouldn't mind some conversation partners. For those of you uncommitted on Sunday mornings in the Raleigh area, I invite you to come on out to ZBC for worship at 10:00. I preach a few times this fall (including 9/23 and 11/18) and will be "installed" on 10/21 in a service of communion. And by all means, Christmas eve at ZBC is extraordinary (at 5:30 or 11:00!) (You can also subscribe to the Zebulon Baptist podcast to hear a few sermons too.)

Sorry about the rambling. But, suffice it to say (in the words of Maya Angelou), "I wouldn't take nothing for my journey now."

Buddha-bellied buoyancy

Here's how meaningful required worship must have been for one of my former students. The impact I made was remarkable to say the least.

After church this week I headed to visit some folks in the hospitals. I stopped to get a burger on the way. When I went to the counter for a refill on my diet coke, there was a girl standing in line to order and pointing at me. She looked and said, "I think I know you. Don't I?" I did recognize her, but before I could help her she blurted out, "You were my swim coach in high school. Weren't you?" "No," I said. "I was your campus minister when you were a student at Campbell. Remember CEP? That's where you saw me."

We reminisced about all those great Tuesdays and Thursdays and what an impact they had on her life.

Then, I went to the mall and bought me some swim goggles and a speedo.

magic and tragic: preaching buffett on the 9th sunday after pentecost

Yesterday, I preached a revised version of this sermon at our mainline evangelical church.

Any new thoughts?

Other than the comments about my closing song, the one the sticks out to me was from a parishioner who said, "I wasn't real sure where you were going, but you brought it all together in the end."

I've got the audio if anyone can tell me how to get it online.

Plus, it reminded me that I wanted to get this memoir to read.

making the sale and sealing the deal

It's official. The Newell house is up for sale. See it here. The sign went up yesterday and luckily it was shown yesterday too. We've started moving a few things "clear out some clutter" as we were told. So for now, we're just moving our unnecessary junk. Check out our new place! We're in unit 325, so come on by and see us sometime.

And by all means, if you'd like to buy a house contact our realtor here.

will the circle be postmodern, by and by lord, by and by

After a lot of thought, prayer, journal writing, etc., Kim and I have decided to put our kids up for adoption...not really. It's something else I thought I'd never do. (On the topic of "thought I'd never do," I'll have to save that to post later.)

We're hoping to go back to Zebulon, NC where I'll work on a church staff full-time. Yes. That's right. I'm going to be working on a church staff. All the details are pending the process a church needs to maintain order, but it's safe to say that it will happen in some form or fashion.

I was also interviewed and invited to be a resident chaplain at WakeMed for the next year. Somehow, I thought that given this choice I had, I would have gone with the hospital which is a great place. I have no doubt that would have been a profound experience. In the short time I was there, it was a holy and meaningful.

But, I must say, I'm surprised. Surprised at how God works to bring someone "full-circle." (Thanks for that image, John.) When I went back "just for the summer," I thought I'd find an institutional church rooted in modernism. However, what I found was a loving community of Christians who are making a way to serve God in the name of Jesus. They have succeeded and they have failed. They are dreaming and and turning dreams into deeds. They have "Sunday school" and "Learning Communities." They are traditional as well as innovative.

And now the "they" becomes "we" and it feels great to use that word. I am eager to see how the person I've developed into will find ways to follow Christ and lead others in such a context.

In other news, I am still planning (though plans for me change with the wind) to take the counseling classes I had originally planned on to get licensed in some fashion as a counselor/therapist. (That means, however, I've put Jiffy Lube and Lowes on hold at least for a while.)

Finally, Kim and I love our children dearly. Bailey is excited about this. And Zoe just needs a bigger room. But I will donate a very friendly cat to anyone who needs such a burden.